Foofaraw:Fermata

Hello I’m Ruben and I substituted a kindergarten class…

I never thought that it would be possible to use Google maps find the front door of Hell until I needed directions to go to Pedley Elementary school. It started off simple and sweet, the kids saw me in front of the class and said “Look! It’s a new student!” but know I know that in Latin it means “The next 4 hours is just a grain of sand that’s lying in the desert of hell.” I think the only way to describe the moment is by breaking it down by stages and i think the stages will get worse and worse.

Roll Call: Yeah, the simple thing of calling a kid’s name out loud is the first stage of hell. I would call out a kid’s name and when the child rose their hand the whole class would laugh at them. Every time someone raised their hand, the kids would point and laugh. And that’s how you scar someone for life based on their name…this went on for thirty names.

I guess we’re playing Bingo today?: It was a Friday so all the kids knew that they would play Bingo and they knew that they would play it at the end of the class but that didn’t stopped them from asking if they can play Bingo from the end of roll call to the last 15 minutes of class. Every little activity that ended was followed by “Can we now play Bingo?” Not until you stop using “now” as a coordinating conjunction.

Who farted?: Two facts about school farts: everyone does it and someone will rat you out if you do it in public. I guess when you’re sitting Native American style on the floor sometimes your muffler has no choice but to release some pollution. Also kids believe that they will win brownie points if they point and yell out who farted. It’s very difficult to make kindergarten kids to sit in the spot where the farted was sitting. This is the stage when farts become shunned from the world.

Recess: Metal objects, Slippery cement floors, and thirty kids yelling at each other…

You have to learn what?: They don’t what’s a weekday or a month. And they just started to learn the numbers past ninety. The only way they learned these things was by singing songs.

Finally the day ended with kids playing a couple games of Bingo. They cleaned up their mess and lined up to go on the bus. I thought I was done when I locked the room but then realized that one student didn’t have to go on the bus…Oh well

I was working in a classroom and i saw this sophomore walk into class with a huge mohawk, dirty black sweater with band patches, and skinny black jeans. I know I shouldn’t be a person that judges high school students about music because I remember when I was in high school that I actually started to listen to music when I was a Junior…and the first cd I bought was a Nickelback cd (I still need to kill myself for that but I balanced it out by getting a B.B. King vinyl when I got older thanks to my brother) So all period I just stayed in the back and had to make sure no one was messing around while the students were doing classwork and the punker starts talking to someone that he wants to join football. The punker decides that he couldn’t do it because it will conflict with his band. That actually impressed me because he was a sophomore and he’s already working on music. Close to the end of class the punker was talking to a boy that was sitting next to him and the boy showed him a pin that he just bought. The Punker said “That’s cool. Who is that?” and the other boy says “It’s Kurt Cobain.”

That’s when my head exploded. I was in shock because the definition of teenage angst is “Kurt Cobain” and this Punker who’s in a band and shows off all the band patches on his rebellious sweater doesn’t even know who he is. And that wasn’t the end of the conversation. The Punker says “Oh uh yeah.” His friend asked him “Do you know what band he’s in?” and guess what the Punker says…

“Yeah he’s in that one band, what’s the name um…”

Then the other boy says “Nirvana.”

“Oh yeah yeah that’s right”

If I didn’t need this job I would’ve grabbed the Punker by his hair and thrown him out of class and tell him to never come back, but I just had to sit there and watch as this Punker leave the class and walk into the crowd of students. The same crowd of students that he’s tricking about his reputation about music.

“Why do you want to be a teacher? You could do something else, like be a Professional Drifter.”

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Probably my pokeball because I wish I could really use it